If you cannot be silly with your dog, then who?

Debbie has a dog named Joe that will follow her every command as long as she has a treat in hand. But Joe is no fool and consistently calls Debbie's bluff whenever she asks him to comply without the bribe. "The problem is bigger than obedience," she explains. "He knows how to do everything, he just isn't interested in me. Making me happy is last on his list of priorities."
How many people can honestly say that their dog, the one species on earth said to be endlessly loyal to humans, does not like them? Ouch! This is a problem.

I've spent a lot of time observing Debbie and Joe's behavior in class, and I can confidently say that Debbie seems like a generally pleasant person to live with. Reserved and calm in demeanor and gait, she does not appear to be a shouter, rough houser, or prone to any kind of major meltdowns - something I am usually pretty good at detecting in people, no matter how hard they try to mask it. If you need to hit pillows and count to 10 more often, I am the kind of trainer who will call you out on it. Not Debbie though; she is consistent, patient, and clearly a woman who means business. Nothing wrong with her training style at all - except for the minor inconvenience of her dog "not liking her."

I watch Joe perform some basic obedience techniques, and he runs through the process like a pro with his eye on the treat. He views training as a show, and he is an actor who memorizes and performs his lines. He is clear about one thing up front: He does not work for free, especially when he has reenacted this show a million times and is bored to death with it.

I have my suspicions as to what has gone awry here, but to make sure, I ask a few more questions. How do you react when Joe enters the room at home? "I usually call him over to me," she explains in an exasperated tone. "I want to cuddle with him, but he wants nothing to do with me. He just looks at me and walks out of the room."
Do you ever give Joe treats for doing nothing other than just being with you? Debbie's mouth goes slack as she gasps, "just give him treats for free? He is already spoiled enough, don't you think? He won't even look at me unless I have food!"
And what about play time? What do you do to interact with him just for fun? Debbie grins as though she's got me on this one. "I walk him twice a day on a leash out to the woods. Once we're there, he is allowed to run free and explore with our other dog."
That is a wonderful gift, but what activities do you do with Joe that actually involve you playing with him? "The woods doesn't count?"

What I conclude from these few short replies and their behavior in class is that Debbie has been so diligent about teaching Joe his manners, that Joe seems to view every direct interaction with Debbie as some obedience ploy, at the end of which, he earns a reward. If the reward is something Joe is not interested in or cannot detect, he chooses not to play the game. Joe can't even walk into the room without Debbie asking him to come. Sure, there may be some good cuddle time waiting on the other end of that request, but Joe lives in the now, and her call to "come" just sounds like another order. Joe must want something first, then be asked to earn it.

At the core of Debbie's frustration there seems to be a lack of relationship. Joe certainly doesn't hurt for the good things in life, but most of what he enjoys is entirely separate from Debbie. Even his play time in the woods, as wonderful as it is, has nothing to do with Debbie; she is simply the means by which Joe must use to get there. She is a hurdle to get past in order to reach the fun part, but at no time during the fun part is Debbie actually part of the fun.

The tricky part about this situation is that Debbie has done nothing wrong. In fact, I did not suggest that she change a single thing about her training style, since Joe had clearly mastered all of his obedience cues. Instead I recommended that she add something.

Unlike the majority of cases that I see, Debbie has had no problem slipping into the authoritative role with her extremely cute and tiny pooch. It is instead with the role of friend and companion that she is struggling. With most dogs this is a battle that we do not face, as most dogs are happy just to hear their name, and most people are not quite as diligent as Debbie. But these two have certainly been paired for good reason. Like people, dogs are individuals; and if you are going to be Joe's friend, you are going to have to learn to drop the demands for a little while and just be a dog. This meant that Debbie was going need to lighten up.

So it was with this in mind that I recommended, despite her perfect posture and pristine clothes, that Debbie learn to play bow and roll around like a dog. He'll probably look at her funny the first few times (dogs know an unusual behavior when they see one), but this confusion will quickly turn into an opportunity for Joe to play along with Debbie as her friend; rather than perform for her as a servant. There are a few rules to this play time: 1) No one else is allowed to partake - not even the other dog. 2) She is to use a toy that only she and Joe play with alone and it needs to be a favorite of his. 3) When play ends, the toy gets put away.

I also recommended that Debbie focus more on using Joe's life rewards when working on obedience, such as insisting on a good sit stay before Joe gets to go outside on his walk. Incorporating his obedience into normal daily activities will transition Joe away from the "dog & pony show" that he is performing now, and teach him to apply his lessons for more practical use. She should also make sure that everyone else in the home is playing by these rules so he doesn't get mixed signals.

Slightly apprehensive, Debbie smiles and agrees that I might have a point. She even agrees to try the rolling on the ground, even though she is not fond of the idea of looking so silly. I urge her to give it a go when no one is home, so the pressures of human onlookers does not affect her ability to have a good time. After all, no one is as trustworthy, loyal, and appreciative of a secret as a dog. Sometimes a silly secret is all it takes to form a great friendship.

The Master of Subtleties

Your dog hears and smells hundreds of times better than you do. His sight is not great, but he is observant and an expert at communicating based on body language. He is truly a master of subtleties.

People, on the other hand, are strong verbal communicators. Sure, we have body language, but most of us have very little awareness of it. If you don't believe me, go to a shopping mall, stand in the walkway, and count the number of people who obliviously bump into you. You will either laugh or be incredibly annoyed.

Apply this same oblivious nature to approaching a dog. A person who is not aware of their body language, or more importantly, not aware of how dogs perceive it, will approach the dog head on and reach for the dog's face to pet it. Then they will tower over the animal, loudly speak some foreign language, and stare into it's eyes. All of these actions can be interpreted as very aggressive behaviors to a dog. If some stranger walked up to me and reached for my face while barking, I wouldn't react very well either.

Luckily, many dogs have a better understanding of our body language than we do and they can see past our lack of consideration. Most will either let us pat and coo away while they enjoy the attention, while others will respectfully back away from our hands until they are able to get a better read on us.

Then there is the other type of dog that has very little patience for our rudeness. They can be cautious by nature or easily intimidated. Sometimes they have been neglected and mistreated; or simply unaccustomed to the quick movements of a child. Maybe they are just old. Much like humans, a dog's tolerance for another's short-comings tends to diminish with age.

Whatever the case, it is not smart to gamble on the type of dog you are dealing with. Instead you should approach with calm caution and respect to introduce yourself properly. You are the more intelligent life form, so act this way. Protect yourself first. Do not crouch or make your face available, as this is a poor position to be in if the dog decides you are foe instead of friend. Dogs only attack your butt when they can't reach anything else. An aggressive dog will go for your face and jugular if you make it available.

Stay standing, and give the dog the first opportunity to approach you and check you out. Avoid eye contact as to not challenge the dog, and move gently and slow enough so that the dog can assess you first. Speak soft, and when the dog is relaxed, pet him with the back of your hand to the side of his body. If he is enjoying it, then move to the chest area to solidify the friendship. There isn't much sweeter to a dog than a nice chest rub.

The safest place to introduce yourself to a new dog is on neutral ground like a park. Dogs are territorial and will instinctually become less friendly if you are an intruder in their home. When entering someone's home who has a dog, the people should take a moment to introduce the dog to you properly, informing the dog that you are welcome. The people should take a moment to shake your hand (or a nice hug will do), pat their dog, and then take your hand gently to the dog to offer a sniff. Their pooch will appreciate the gesture.

Help! My Dog Nips!

Yesterday I received a frantic email from a student:

"Help! My dog nipped at my son! I have to get rid of the dog now and I am so distraught!"

Naturally, your children are always going to come before the family pet. If this is not the case, a family counselor is needed, not a dog trainer. However there is an unspoken and (unfortunately) unwritten agreement that comes into play when you adopt a dog. Part of this agreement says that you are accepting this dog into your home permanently and understand that, like people, dogs are not perfect. There will be issues, and no matter how small or large the issue, you are accepting responsibility for them. They are officially part of your family.

In this way, kids are like dogs. Just because they stay out until 3am worrying you sick doesn't mean you get to drop them off somewhere the next day. If that were the case, I might consider having some of my own. The point is, nowhere in this agreement is there an Offload Clause wherein it states that you can dump the dog in someone else's backyard the moment they start acting like a dog. Dogs, like children, are not disposable. The right thing to do here is try to work through the issue, not give up entirely on the dog. If you feel differently, you may want to consider adopting a surer thing, like a fish. I hear that Goldfish never bite.

The truth is, no matter how sweet, cuddly, docile, or smart your domesticated pooch is, dogs are animals; and this kind of animal is born with sharp teeth that are perfectly tailored for ripping flesh from bones. Yes, even precious Foofookins, the cottony white malti-poo would be tearing bloody flesh from a dead zebra if she were left to her own devices. Thankfully you bought her that cute little pink dish from which she can delicately nibble her kibbles... and you live nowhere near zebras.

When bringing one of these carnivores into your home, you should prepare yourself for the possibility that your dog may try to use those teeth for intimidation or defense. Educate yourself on how to react in such a case to address the issue before a nip turns into a bite. A nip is a warning. Trust that if your dog actually wanted to bite you, he wouldn't miss. If nipping is not addressed, the dog recognizes the power of his teeth and will use it whenever it is convenient.

The first step in addressing any kind of unwanted behavior is figuring out why it has taken place.

If Timmy is pulling his tail and hurting the dog, I would say a nip was a smart reaction for the dog to take before he was forced to fully defend himself. I would also say that Timmy is the one in need of training, otherwise he may someday lose an eye. However if Timmy is casually walking by the dog and the dog lashes out, there is definitely something a muck. Before you act, take a deep breath, look around, and find the cause. Without knowing the reason, you cannot not address the problem and you could make it worse. Here are a few questions you can ask to help identify possible causes:

• Does the dog have his favorite toy?
  
• Does he have food of any kind?
  
• Is he protecting something like his bed?
  
• Is he wounded or sick?
  
• Is he scared of something like a rain storm or a stranger?
  
• Is he on or near his favorite person?
  
• Does he bark or nip in response to verbal reprimand or correction?
• Did the nip occur during play?
  

The exercises involved in getting your dog over food aggression are far different from the techniques you might use to address nipping in response to a correction. Sometimes dogs react irrationally when they do not feel well, but you would not want to punish your dog because he is sick and moody. Obviously, a trip to the vet would be a better option. So take care in noticing what your dog's motives are so you can fix the problem instead of make it worse.

If you can't figure out the cause on your own, contact a qualified dog trainer or behaviorist to help (there's no universal certification, so check references!). For anywhere from $50 to $100 a trainer can help you assess the situation and give specific guidance on how to react. Experience goes a long way, and a trainer can often identify the more subtle reasons for a dog's actions such as breed specific behaviors. For instance, Border Collies often nip out of innate response because they are herding dogs.

If it sounds like a lot of effort or money to spend, consider the time, money and emotion that you have already invested in your pet. Comparatively, if $100 still sounds like too much, you should definitely reconsider adopting that fish.